Reproduction is the most basic of human needs and endeavours. It is propelled by a powerful biological and psychological desire to have a genetic offspring. If this basic, often taken for granted, function is thwarted, a life crisis of infertility ensues that impacts on all aspects of a couple’s / individual’s life – their relationship with others (friends/relatives), their life goals, social roles, self-image, sexuality and self-confidence. Furthermore, there is a negative stigma attached to this very common and increasingly frequent “situation” and that nevertheless should not be taken as a personal failing as it is a legitimate condition. Being more informed about the wide range of options and connecting with others facing similar challenges are a great help, as is professional counselling provided for by the fertility specialists and their team.
Myth No. 1: We just need to be patient, it will happen one day
Many couples who have had some delay in having a child cannot believe that something might be wrong with them, that having a baby has got to do with patient and silent waiting and that pregnancy will eventually and inevitably happen. Unfortunately, this is a common fallacy that prevents early solutions to the problems preventing a couple from having a baby.
Inability to conceive within the customary one year duration is considered timely for a couple to seek medical help. Also, infertility is quite a common problem affecting one in ten couples, i.e. 10% and sometimes 15% of the population. Often infertility does not show up as a symptom or sign so as to tip off couples that there might be a problem. It is a common myth that if one is healthy and leads a healthy life, exercising regularly, eating the right food and keeping a wholesome lifestyle that regardless of how long it takes, conception will occur. Whilst it is important to maintain a healthy lifestyle, there are some fundamental problems that need treatment either through medication or corrective operations without which pregnancy is unlikely to occur. For example, a woman can be very healthy and well but her fallopian tubes might be damaged and blocked preventing pregnancy.
Myth No.2: We’re just stressed out
Another common misconception is that conception will happen if one can go on a holiday to rest and relieve stress, as stress has mistakenly been touted as a potent cause of infertility. Whilst this is true in so far as allowing couples to relax so that they can be together at appropriate times to have sex, it is a myth that avoidance and alleviation of stress would necessarily correct the underlying fertility problem e.g. very low sperm counts or blocked tubes or reverse the ravages of ageing on the ovaries.
The human ovaries contain a finite number of eggs that decline over the years. Many men and women do not realise that a woman’s fertility can drop significantly as she ages. So it is a myth that infertility is not a problem until a woman hits her late 30s. Female fertility declines from the age of 25. Approximately 10% of women under 35 experience infertility; this doubles to 22% at age 35 to 39, and for women after 40 years it triples to 39%. That is why doctors advise couples where the female is greater than or at 35 years of age to get medical attention within 6 months of trying without result.
Myth No.3: We can’t have a problem since we’ve already had children
Another common fallacy is to believe that those who have successfully conceived before would not have a fertility problem in later life. In fact, problems can develop over the years in ovulation (growth and release of eggs) and sperms (from illnesses, toxins, and smoking) causing decline in sperm counts, movement activity and shape of the sperm heads that would hinder fusion of sperm and egg (fertilization).
Myth No.4: It’s not me, it’s you
Yet another very prevalent myth is that infertility is a female problem. This is so only in 35% of all cases. Another 35% is due to male problems and a combined problem is present in 20%, leaving 10% in a category called “unexplained” where regular tests have not elucidated the cause of the infertility. Furthermore, many men frequently stay away from seeing the doctor with their wives as they erroneously believe that they would be less of a man if their sperm counts are low and that fertility is related to virility. This is frequently not the case and a man can make love to his wife frequently but yet not get her pregnant due to sperm problems i.e. “shooting blanks”.
Many couples also fear that a marriage rarely survives infertility investigations or treatments that are always prolonged, intense and psychologically and financially draining. This is not always the case. In fact, the solution can often be simple and straightforward and now even IVF is made very patient friendly, easier to cope with and more cost effective for many of the current indications. In fact husbands and wives have been brought closer together in their common journey towards parenthood and becoming a “mum” and “dad”.
Acquiring facts about infertility through books, listening to lectures and browsing informative websites will enhance your understanding of this increasingly common problem affecting many couples so one need not feel alone in one’s plight. Also, it is not psychological. Well meaning friends might suggest that infertility is all “in your head” or “if you stop worrying so much, you would get pregnant.” In reality, infertility is a distinct “disease” or “condition” that has specific treatments to correct them.
Let not misconceptions and misinformation delay you from getting the right help and treatment that you deserve to help you realize your dream of being a mother and father to a beautiful child.